What´s coming my way...

I blame fear of failure for a lot of frustration in the way I live and see my life.
I have a dream world and a real world, and they never ever cross paths.

Sad, really.

I have wanted to be so much more, to do so much more and now I am at a point in my life where I feel like I have not accomplished what I had set out to be.

My biggest problem is the unwillingness to give up security. I need to know whether I will be able to pay my bills, to live in (if not comfort) at least safe in my home. So I never really went after things that would not allow me to stay in that safe environment. And whenever I did risk something, sometimes I would just give up for fear of rejection.

Recently the saying that –“If you don´t try, the answer will always be no” has struck a cord within. I feel that I have allowed my fears and my own sense of failure to keep me back from reaching for my dreams.

What does it say about me that when I am so excited about something, no matter how unrealistic, or improbable, but that makes me so happy, I allow people around me to say things that just tear me down?

It is so discouraging. It all keeps piling up and I am just about ready to turn my life around.

Baby steps… baby steps… I can´t change my familiar surroundings in one fell swoop, but little by little, I know I can make it.

God knows I am still petrified of what´s to come, but for once, I am not cowering in a corner hoping nothing will touch me, I am facing it head on.